The Power of a Pause
When a question gives you reason to pause, it signals there’s something more to unravel.
This happened to me recently when I was being interviewed on a podcast episode about my experience facilitating mindset transformation to help leaders, executives and entrepreneurs break through to their next level of success. At one point during the episode, I was talking to the host about limiting beliefs reflecting back to my high school English teacher who referred to me as a weak student in his class acknowledging my preference for the sciences on the college recommendation letter he wrote. Marc casually asked me, “Do you think your pursuit of a degree in English was a way of rebelling against what was written?”
My immediate response was “No,” and then I paused.
I wasn’t doubting my answer, because it felt honest and true. Yet, the question stuck with me, because I was confused by my pause.
It really made me ponder, how did I end up pursuing an English degree when my limiting belief was that I didn’t excel in the arts?
The podcast continued, but my reaction to the question nagged at me in the days that followed.
Was I rebelling? I really considered it a possibility, but something about it didn’t resonate.
Never in my life had I ever revisited my choice about my undergraduate degree. It seemed so benign and insignificant.
Yet, to an outsider equipt with similar expertise within the personal development industry as me, I couldn’t dismiss his observation. My professional experience has proven the most valuable breakthroughs are normally pointed out by a professional who can see what we ourselves cannot.
I went through a mental checklist of all the obvious blindspots (what an oxymoron!).
With no disrespect, Mr, Goestch didn’t make that big of an impact on my life, nor did I consider him to be a teacher I cared to prove wrong or impress.
I couldn’t identify any feelings of anger, regret or doubt that I had taken the wrong path as an undergrad.
And then I remembered how I qualified my answer to Marc after the pause. I responded with surprise about my teacher’s reference stating, “What? Really? But, I’ve always loved to read!”
Shaking my head, I had a quick memory of me as a little girl spending hours writing and illustrating books made with a spine of stapled paper. The same little girl who a few years later sought out to read the entire Young Adult section of the library. I really loved (and still love) reading!
The more I thought about this little girl, curled up with a stack of books, I remembered my talent as second chair Flutist in band and orchestra. Then, I randomly remembered teaching myself Richard Marx’s, Right Here Waiting by ear on the piano for fun in the 7th grade.
I loved the arts! In fact, I FAVORED the arts!
My question to my clients when they uncover clues like these that suggest they are not living in alignment with who they say they are or who they want to be is - Then what is fueling the power of your limiting belief?
Pause
This is such a divine moment where you must walk so gingerly. Life almost feels at a standstill when you are faced with this question, because answering it projects a threat. What am I about to expose? Yet backing away, robs you from stepping into the magic. The bittersweet moment of lifting up the shade and shining the light on the blindspot means you can never unknow the new nugget of truth. Continuing to keep it hidden holds the power of the negative belief hostage directly in the way of where you need to go to experience the abundance and joy on the other side. Exposing these messages and beliefs that often come from our childhood may feel overwhelming in the beginning, but in the end it feels like you’ve purged a closet full of clothes you wore 25 years ago. And just like your style has changed, you are no longer that person. Nor should you be! Our purpose is to keep growing and expanding, and you can only do that when you embrace the value for shedding limiting beliefs keeping you from fully living to your potential.
Being self-integral, I stepped forward, shaking my head in disbelief at yet another example of how hard I tried to please my father. I almost ended the latter sentence with “when I was a kid,” but the reality is, I continued to seek his approval well into adulthood. Far longer than I wished, but just like you, I couldn’t see it until that light flicked on like I was standing in the middle of the stage, naked.
Fully exposed, but then fully resolved.
Stepping forward gave me the answer. Answering my favorite question to clients resolved my confusion about my reaction during the podcast..
Without even realizing it, I had made decisions and committed myself to loving Science all through high school because my father held no value for the arts. Ironically the first time I lived apart from his influence, I gravitated back to my authentic self. I filled my schedule with all the courses that spoke to me from the course catalog. Listening to my intuitive voice, I returned to the creative space that I now refer to as my place of brilliance.
Living this professional development work means the magical moments are never over. When you live open and available to the lessons before you, you receive extraordinary confirmation from the Universe that you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be on your journey.
In addition to being a wife and mother, I am a personal development coach, psychotherapist, and entrepreneur. I hold a Masters Degree in Mental Health Counseling and leverage my academic background and practical work as a therapist to provide guidance, support, and results for my coaching clients. I offer a complimentary 30-minute live call where we’ll explore the 3 Reasons You’re Not Earning the Money You Want. Are you ready for your Breakthrough?
