Do You Know Your Reason Why?

The Foundation of Every Transformation is Built Upon Meaningful Purpose

As we near the end of the first month in the new year, it seems a fitting time to check in on your intentions for 2021. You sought out change for a reason. The feeling of wanting something more has grown from a fleeting thought to a nagging ache. You know you are worth more than your weekly paycheck. Maybe you approached this journey with a future vision of yourself in a better state of physical and emotional health. Sometimes, there is no clear vision of the end goal, except to resolve the disappointment and shame knowing you aren't living up to your full potential. I believe you have a reason WHY you are here.

Often before making a change, time is taken to establish goals. A "goals worksheet" may have been a tool used, if it was difficult to prioritize or identify goals. Nevertheless, it is important to distinguish a goal from the WHY supporting the goal.

Change, by nature, is uncomfortable, but necessary in order to advance, grow, heal and develop. Use whatever word you want to describe the process, just appreciate the opportunity that exists within change.

In the process of making changes, it is common to experience challenges. The process may have looked easier than what is realized. We run out of time or money to facilitate the change. We find people in our lives are not as supportive as we assumed and hoped they would be. The challenges we face also challenge our motivation. Where we were once determined to succeed, we now feel more doubt. It becomes easier to drift from our original goal. Excuses come to mind; We tell ourselves, "tomorrow I will do the thing…" Except that when we tell ourselves, we are going to do "the thing" tomorrow, we are really just looking to pacify the feelings of guilt and shame felt in the present moment as a result of not following through with the commitment we made to self.

When we don't follow through with the commitments, we are breaking a trust with self. Hence, continuing the pattern of negative emotions.

Knowing why we approach the change reaffirms your will to change. When we are so closely connected to why we want the desired outcome, the lack of time, money and support seem like little detours to the ultimate destination. The why needs to be rooted in the emotion triggering the beginning of your therapeutic process. The emotions felt in the intensity when you finally took the step to offer yourself relief. There is value in such a negative place. It is the place you never want to return to again. When the why consists of the pain, we have a new perspective. The pain of our circumstance is paralyzing, and the discomfort of changing is a means to something so much more positive. Both circumstances are difficult in the beginning. Yet, making positive changes has the power to cultivate an empowered mindset.

The why acts like a compass redirecting back to the growth path. Therapy is about making long-term sustainable change. Not a band-aid or a temporary fix.

If you have not already done so, consider taking time to write out your why. Think of it as your personal mission statement to support the goals you will achieve.