Are you afraid your past circumstance still defines you?

We have all made mistakes, regret decisions, and wish we could take back things we have said. We are human! Life happens, and the only time life stops, is when we are dead.

Why are you holding on to the past? What comfort is it bringing to you? How does it serve you?

Answer: There is nothing comfortable about carrying around pain and shame, but it may feel

familiar.

Life feels heavy right now; you’re stuck – afraid to look to the future, but praying for divine guidance and good fortune to rescue you. You want change, but continue to question, “Can it really be different for me?”

I call this place, Quicksand.

What do you know about quicksand?

Quicksand is paralyzing. The harder you try to get out, the deeper it pulls you in. When you are living in quicksand, it feels like constant chaos. Life is unpredictable and inconsistent. IT IS SCARY. You start to think about all the What if’s. You make decisions out of fear. You continuously react instead of respond. It isn’t uncommon to realize when you’re in quicksand, you are spending more time with other people who are also in quicksand. Ever heard the phrase, misery loves company. Quicksand triggers feelings of insecurity and desperation, and doesn’t it feel good when we are around others who validate our actions and point-of-view. This also works against us, because when we are surrounded by other people in quicksand, we begin to deny ourselves our feelings and circumstances knowing someone else’s are worse. We feel guilty, and begin focusing on taking care of others and working to fix their problems. Before we know it, we have created a sense of belonging within this quicksand. Did I just describe you?

It’s okay, I just described a past version of me too.

I got out, and you will too.

I just have to give it to you straight. It won’t happen overnight. It will feel uncomfortable. There will be bumps in the road. And in the end, it will all be worth it.

So, what is the first step?